


All Hallow's Steve

by Lumelle



Series: When Life Gives You Reality Warpers [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cosplay, Crossover, First Kiss, Halloween, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:33:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy has to introduce Kate to his mess of a family sooner or later, and what better time than Halloween, when she can easily gain Billy's favor by taking part in their Avengers group cosplay? Things don't go quite according to plan, though, especially as Tony gets weird ideas and Billy decides to get heroic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Hallow's Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Halloween was a week ago. However, I only got the idea last weekend, and thought I'd rather post it a week late than wait until next year.

The unfortunate thing about cat suits, Kate was coming to notice, was that the zippers seemed to almost magically fail to a crucial point.

She had checked this one several times before even purchasing the suit, made sure it zipped up all the way and stayed there without trouble. She had even tried bending this way and that, but it had stayed nice and tidy, keeping her covered halfway up her throat, or as covered as she could possibly be called when she was wearing a black, body-hugging catsuit, anyway.

And then, approximately five seconds after she finished the last adjustments to her costume and declared herself done, it decided to slide open a couple of inches under her clavicle. Which, yes, that was still perfectly decent for a costume that was supposed to be worn with kids around, and really if anything it was only making her costume more accurate, but it still rather annoyed her to have that happen after all the time she had spent trying to prevent just such an accident. If she revealed something, however little, she wanted it to be on purpose, damn it, not a genuine wardrobe malfunction.

Of course, this was when Tommy decided to arrive, so it would have to do. It wasn't like he was going to complain.

"Okay, are you — woah." Tommy blinked at her, eyes almost comically wide. "Would it be insulting to say you look even hotter than usual?"

"I might let you live this time." She set her hands on her hips, giving him a long look from head to toe. "You're not too bad yourself." He really wasn't. Skintight costumes were not a flattering look on everyone, but Tommy was pulling it off rather admirably. Had to be all that running around he did.

"I do try." Tommy flashed her a grin, probably thinking it hid the faint blush threatening to creep on his cheeks. It was cute, really, how he thought she hadn't caught on how adorable he was at times. "So. As I was about to say, are you ready to go?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be."

She stepped out, closing the door behind her. "Shall we?"

Tommy grinned again, then quite literally swept her off her feet. Then, before she could say anything, he started running like she weighed nothing at all.

Why, no, she was not at all turned on by that. Why would anyone have gotten that idea?

Not much later Tommy came to a halt, a sudden stop that seemed to take forever, and Kate took a moment to orient herself. It was always somewhat unsettling to get back on her feet after getting carried by Tommy. It wasn't something she did often, somewhat disliking the idea of depending on a man to get somewhere, but they had sometimes made use of it so Tommy could show her some exotic location or another that he could reach in the blink of an eye. Thankfully Tommy was also aware of the aftereffect, waiting a moment after setting her down before he stepped away, just enough time for her to steady herself.

"Well." Kate blinked at the sight before her. The mansion -- no lesser word would have done -- seemed to be decorated all over. The garden was littered with lanterns and skeletons and fake tombstones, and there were costumed people everywhere. "That's quite the party."

"Charles throws the best Halloween parties." Tommy grinned, waving a hand to indicate the entirety of the grounds. "His excuse is that it would be far too much of a hassle to take the students trick or treating, but they don't deserve to miss out on the festivities, so instead he invites the entire neighbourhood here. People come from pretty far just for this. The kids love it, too; even the strangest looking ones can run about without worrying that someone will think they look scary or freaky or whatever."

"And the guest list just happens to include your entire family."

"Well, obviously. I mean, Billy and I are here already, and so are Erik and Charles. And then the Avengers are coming over, too, so that accounts for our parents and Uncle Pietro and Ororo." Tommy sniffed. "Honestly, we're a pretty insular group when you think about it; the school and Avengers pretty much covers everyone I could claim any relation to. But then, it's not like we're a big family, either, even if we're counting Aunt Raven and her kids."

"Oh, I know. I'm just wondering about the sensibility of making my first introduction to your family when every one of them and their colleagues is in attendance." Kate shook her head. "Why are the Avengers here, anyway? I'd have thought Stark could throw a party all by himself if he wants one."

"Well, some of them just like to hand out candy and see all the kids in costumes, and they can't really do that in the city. No neighborhood kid has the clearance to get on top of the Tower, as you might imagine. They'll just put something half-assed on and enjoy anonymity for an evening." Tommy threw her a grin. "That, and I've been told Charles has pretty good punch available for the adults behind the scenes. I wouldn't know anything about that, of course."

"I'm sure you wouldn't." She wasn't sure he could put much more sarcasm into her tone.

"No, actually, I wouldn't. Uncle Pietro and Logan make a tradition of switching around watching the bowl; there's absolutely no way anyone can get past either of them, and they've both got enough of a metabolism that they'll stay sharp even if they help themselves to the goods every now and then." Tommy gave a dramatic sigh. "Really, it's all quite unfair."

"Indeed. How very unfortunate that all you can do to enjoy yourself is overload on sugar." Kate rolled her eyes. "And that really doesn't put my mind at ease about meeting them all."

"Oh, don't worry about it. You'll automatically have Billy on your side simply because you agreed to go along with the group costume idea, and if Billy approves of you, Mom's not going to say a bad word about you. Grandpa might try and look intimidating, but he'll go along with anything granddad says, and unless you're openly thinking about stabbing me in the throat and dropping me in a ditch somewhere, I don't think there's anything you can do to make Charles disapprove of you." Tommy paused. "Actually, even that might depend on how obnoxious I've been on that particular day."

"Forgive me if I still don't find that terribly reassuring."

"I told you, it's going to be fine." Tommy offered her a hand. "If they're going to give anyone a hard time, it's me for keeping you hidden away for so long. Now, should we go and find the good twin?"

"I don't know." Kate lifted an eyebrow even as she set her hand in his. "Am I going to be tempted to run off with him, if you're apparently the evil one?"

"Honestly? It doesn't matter what you're tempted to do, considering how utterly smitten he is with his own guy. Also how utterly female you are in that get-up. Which is a great thing, don't take me wrong, I wholeheartedly approve and all that, but our tastes do run along rather different lines."

"I'll take your word for that." She offered him a smirk. "Now, isn't this quite far from truth? I'm pretty sure Black Widow doesn't have much to do with Quicksilver in a romantic sense."

Tommy snorted. "Yeah, well, last I heard Billy and Teddy were going to be Iron Man and Cap, and I've yet to see them go one afternoon without getting mushy, so it's not like we're going to be the worst example of mixed-up pairings. Though I suppose Uncle Pietro's darling husband might take some affront to this, if only on principle."

"Only one way to find out, hmm?" And then she let herself get dragged out into the milling crowd of costumed people, because clearly she did not know her own best and had a terrible taste in men.

Though she had to say, the tight costume Tommy wore gave her a very nice view of his legs as he hurried on a few steps ahead of her. Also his back. And everything between. She absolutely had to get him a nice tight pair of jeans at some point because this was a view she very much approved of.

There were people of all shapes and sizes, their costumes ranging from a simple cape thrown on street clothes to elaborate projects that must have taken weeks to put together. She paused as she saw what could only be described as a demonic figure crouched on the edge of a large cauldron, handing out glasses of the sizzling drink within to any kid who dared come close enough. Well, it would have been quite demonic, if not for the friendly grin that revealed a clearly fake pair of fangs and the black cape he occasionally spread with a dramatic flare.

"Is that Nightcrawler?" It had to be, didn't it? Tommy had said the Avengers were coming as well, and that tail was definitely moving under the folds of the cape.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, that's Uncle Kurt." And, yeah, there was something very strange about Tommy calling Avengers by such names, even if he had already explained the significant overlap between the team and his family tree to her. "The funny thing is, his actual teeth are sharp enough he could probably pull off a vampire costume even without the fake fangs. He says it's a matter of principle, though, since he can't just put on a cape and call that a costume."

"That's, uh. That's dedication?" Kate hasted her steps to catch up with Tommy as he weaved through the crowd of running kids. At least he wasn't running, or she wouldn't have had a hope. "So he's not taking part in the group costume thing?"

"Nah. He said the only Avenger he could conceivably dress up without either using illusions or getting a cramp in his tail was himself, and that would have been cheating. I'm pretty sure his boyfriend was going to dress up, though."

"Okay. About that." Kate made to run a hand through her hair, then halted just in time. She was not going to be readjusting the damn wig any time soon, thanks. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but seriously, are you the only straight one in your family? I mean, your grandfather and your uncle both have husbands, your brother and cousin both have boyfriends. I know it's a small reference pool, but really?"

Tommy paused, actually came to a halt for a moment, before throwing her a small grin. "Okay, you know, you've put me into a pretty bad position here," he said, his tone perfectly cheerful. "Because, no, I don't really feel bad about admitting that honestly my mom's pretty much the only one in the clan who's gone for the opposite sex option, which probably doesn't count anyway since dad's an android so he's not actually male as such. I mean, I really don't think it's outing them if they're happily married. Sure, grandpa's probably bi since he didn't exactly make mom and Uncle Pietro out of thin air all by himself, but he's married to Charles now so that doesn't count, and while I'm pretty sure Anna Marie fancies boys that's more or less counteracted by the fact that she's got two mommies."

"Right." Kate raised her eyebrows. "And what's the difficult part?"

Tommy gave a sigh so dramatic, he had to be exaggerating it for the effect. "Kurt's boyfriend, Eli? I've never seen a finer ass than that. No offense to yours, it's pretty great and all, but damn."

"I'll be magnanimous and not take offense at that." Kate paused. "So, what? You're not the only straight one because you're not entirely straight?"

"I kind of mostly am? I like girls. I wanna date girls. Or one particular girl, really, now please don't give me that look, you know what I mean. But I'd be lying if I claimed I find the idea of a nice-looking guy utterly off-putting." He paused. "You're never allowed to tell Billy about that, by the way. He'd just try to get me to talk about cute guys with him, and while I'll admit my guy-watching experience isn't as honed to perfection as my appreciation for a fine woman, I do know that my taste and his are utterly different."

"He's not an ass guy, then?" And, no, she couldn't resist teasing him just a bit. He deserved some good-natured jabbing for the almost-slight about her own posterior.

"Nah, he just likes his guys all... clean. Nice, sweet, the perfect son-in-law type, and honestly if I didn't know the guy's been in his school before they started dating I'd think he just conjured Teddy up from somewhere because damn, that guy's pretty much the result of all of Billy's buttons pressed at once. I wouldn't be surprised if they already had their wedding colors picked out, it's disgusting."

"And you go for bad boys, hmm?"

"Let's just say I prefer a little danger." Tommy gave her a bright grin, and yeah, she was charmed against her better judgment. "And you, Miss Bishop? Am I your bit of rough to shock your daddy with?"

"I'm not entirely sure the son of two Avengers can be called a bit of rough. Which is good, by the way, because I strongly object to someone calling my boyfriend such things." Kate pointed a finger at him. "Just so you know, after tonight, you're not allowed to deny that we're dating. Well, you are, but I'll take that as a sign that you're calling it off. I'm not asking for eternal commitment, but if you're actually going to introduce me to your family, you'd damn well better take me seriously at least."

"Duly noted." Tommy's expression was serious for a fraction of a second, before his eyes darted off to somewhere. "Hey, that's Billy! Come on, let's go meet them. Have to get them on our side before we see anyone else, right?"

She let herself be led over to where an Iron Man was talking with a Captain America. She knew they were just costumes, was pretty sure she could see a couple of the seams on the homemade Cap costume, but they were pretty amazing nonetheless. The guy dressed as Captain, presumably Teddy, was every bit as tall and well-built as one might have expected a teenage Steve Rogers to have been. His face was younger, of course but then that was more or less the point. Really, the only thing that clashed with the look were the numerous cuffs and earrings decorating both his ears, but even that was utterly negated by the brilliant, photo-perfect smile that lit his face as he turned to look at them.

"Tommy!" he said happily. "We were wondering when you'd show up. And is this the mysterious Kate?" Teddy smiled at her. "I'm Teddy, boyfriend of the brother of Mr. Hyperactivity here. Nice costume, by the way."

"Thanks. Yours is pretty brilliant, though." Oh, his blush was just adorable. She could definitely see what Tommy meant about the sweet boy type. She almost wanted to pinch his cheek to make sure he was real. "And I presume this is Billy? Something about him seems vaguely familiar."

"I know, I know. It's the eyes, isn't it? They always give us away." Billy grinned at her, and honestly, the eyes were pretty similar for all that they were completely different in color. His face was the perfect copy of Tommy's, even with the small, neat beard he had managed to add to his costume. Which, okay, identical twins, she had rather expected that. Even so, she hadn't been prepared for just how similar the boys looked when they smiled. She wondered what Tommy would have said about that. Probably denied it utterly on the grounds that he never smiled, obviously, he only ever gave people smug smirks and that was it, now what on Earth are you talking about Kate.

"Oh, yeah. That and the eyebrows. Those were the only clues, though." She looked down at his costume. "Is that an actual Iron Man armor? Because if so, I'm going to cry foul. That's so totally cheating."

"Uh. Yes and no?" Billy gave her a sheepish grin. "I mean, it's modeled after the real deal, but it's mostly just illusions. I convinced the adults to let me make this my school project, you know, learning fine control of my powers and stuff. I'm pretty sure Tony would have agreed to lend me the actual thing except it'd be far too clunky and dangerous and besides nobody but him can pilot them, so that wouldn't have been very practical."

"I think it's great," Teddy said, loyal as ever. "I mean, it even feels real. You're really getting better, Bee." He gave Billy a smile, one that was returned immediately.

"Riiight." Tommy made a face. "Now, before we get too far into the sap zone, where's the rest of our group? No point going around in our costumes if we're only going to have half the team. I know Eli was going to come, and I think Kurt said something about Darcy taking part, too?"

"Oh, right. They're inside, I think. Darcy was having trouble getting her hair to behave, so Kitty offered to help her with that. Should we go check on them?"

"Hey, anything's better than standing around here while you two make googly eyes at each other. Come on, Kate."

"Oh, I don't know. I think the occasional googly eyes can be pretty fun." Teddy grinned, then leaned in to kiss Billy. It was just a quick, gentle peck, yet Tommy covered his eyes with his hands and groaned.

"Oh, grow up, Tommy." Kate rolled her eyes. "You'll soon make me think you disapprove of kisses altogether."

Tommy opened his mouth, doubtlessly to say something witty, when they were interrupted by a couple of giggling girls rushing over to Teddy and Billy.

"Um, excuse me?" The braver of the girls beamed up at them, holding her phone. Her friend was standing half behind her. Neither of them could have been more than twelve or so. "Can I take a photo of you two?"

Teddy glanced at Billy, who nodded, and then gave them another one of his brilliant smiles. "Sure thing. How do you want us to pose?"

"Uh, actually, would you mind doing that again?" She was flushing now, her friend giggling even more.

Teddy blinked at the request, then chuckled. "Hey, never let it be said I let an excuse go by." He then set one hand on Billy's waist and the other behind his neck, bending him into a rather dramatic movie kiss. The girls squealed and got their photo, while Billy stood back up with a bright grin.

"My, Teddy Altman, I might almost think you get excited at the idea of having an audience," he said with a teasing tone as the girls rushed off again. "How am I ever going to handle that bit of deviancy?"

"You completely misunderstand me, my darling," Teddy replied with a rather frighteningly innocent expression. Such wide eyes should not have been allowed on anyone above two years old. "I merely wished to show my true dedication to my favorite superhero pairing."

"Don't let Tony hear about that," Tommy muttered. "He'd just get ideas."

"Oh, they won't need to say anything," Kate said, glancing over to where the two girls had been joined by a couple of others, all huddled around the phone. "What do you want to bet the picture's going to be trending on Twitter before the night's over?"

"Don't look at me. I don't take sucker bets." Tommy slicked down his hair. It was trying to abandon Quicksilver's more slicked back look in favor of his own wild mop. Really, it was a losing battle. "So, are we going to go find the rest, or will we get stopped by fangirls every three steps?"

"You're just jealous nobody's asked for your picture yet." Billy chuckled, hooking his arm through Teddy's. "Now, come on. If we're lucky we can get Kate introduced to the girls before any of the actual adults catch wind of your arrival."

"I'm not sure I want to, now. You rather make it sound like I'm a lamb being led to slaughter."

"Nonsense. Besides, you've got to meet Eli, too. The sight of his ass in Falcon's flying suit is well worth the risk of death at grandpa's hand, and I say this as a man well and truly spoken for."

Tommy was the only one to understand why she had trouble containing her laughter, and, well, he wasn't likely to tattle on her.

*

"Isn't it good enough already?"

Neither of the girls seemed to be paying him much mind, instead focusing on Darcy's hair. "Oh, hush," Kitty deigned to answer. "Just because you never have a bad hair day doesn't mean you get to complain."

"I mostly just don't understand why this is necessary." Eli sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "I mean, you've got curls, right? Almost exactly like Wanda's. Why didn't you just make the costumes the other way around to begin with? Then you wouldn't have to worry about keeping your hair hidden and getting Darcy's curly enough. Hers would be easier to stuff under your hood, right?" He indicated her Vision costume with its green head covering. He couldn't even imagine how exactly Kitty had fit her hair under it.

"Two points here, smart boy," Darcy said, not even glancing his way. "First, there's no way I could bind my boobs without passing out, and while female Vision might be a nice twist it's not what we're going for. And second, unlike me, Kitty can do tricks."

"Ah. Right. Phasing, wasn't it?" Okay, that at least made sense. "So you're going to get in character and everything?"

"I don't know. Are we, darling?" Darcy lifted an eyebrow at Kitty.

"Might be fun, husband of mine." Kitty laughed. "Might want to be careful with the PDA, though. This face paint tastes awful, just so you know."

"I'll keep that in mind." Darcy smirked, then eyed her curls critically. "Okay, I think these might pass. Let's just hope it doesn't start to rain."

"God no. I don't want to watch this again." Eli sighed. "Seriously, how long have you been at this?"

"You have any idea how hard it is to wrangle unruly hair, Mr. Baldie?"

"Why do you think I shave my head?" Eli lifted his eyebrows. "Not all of us have to worry about getting curls."

Darcy paused. "Okay. You win that one."

"I'd damn well hope so."

"So." Kitty and Darcy turned away from the mirror, capes flaring. "How do we look?"

"Like Scarlet Witch and Vision, is probably what I'm supposed to say." Eli couldn't help but grin. "I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to say anything else, being a taken man and all."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Darcy grinned, hands on her hips. She really did justice to the Scarlet Witch bodice. "Should we go track down the boys, now?"

"No need for that." At the new voice, they all turned toward the door, where Billy was just stepping in. "Wow. You guys really nailed it."

"Didn't we just?" Kitty beamed and very casually stepped through a chair that happened to be in the way, and, okay, that was a very good Vision just there. "We've got a pretty good turnout of the team, I'd say."

"I'd say so." Billy walked further into the room, others following him. There was Teddy, a very remarkable Captain America, and Tommy rather predictably had dressed up as Quicksilver. Then, however, came a redhead in black catsuit, and Eli blinked.

"Okay. Are you the girl Tommy's been seeing behind everyone's backs, or did the guys just pick you up from the crowd at random?"

"Believe me, I wouldn't have come this far in such a get-up just for fun. If I wanted candy that bad, I'd buy it myself." She gave an exaggerated sigh. "I'd say something about the things I do for love, but let's be honest, I'm obviously here only for his legs."

"Aw, I knew I had something special." Tommy grinned. "So, Eli, Kitty, Darcy, this is Kate Bishop. I've been informed I'm obligated to call her my girlfriend, so we're done with that. Kate, Falcon here is Eli, Kurt's boyfriend. The one pretending to be my mom is Darcy, Avenger intern, and my dad is Kitty, the world's worst wrestling champion."

"I take offense to that." Darcy folded her arms under her breasts, and seriously, Eli was trying not to look, but he really felt it was unfair to trap him in a room with both her and a girl in a very accurate Black Widow costume and expect him not to care. "Intern implies I'd want to become an Avenger some day. I'm perfectly happy just hanging on the outside and pretending to be useful while ogling all the pretty men being shirtless all the time."

"You know, not that I don't agree with the sentiment, but I could do without hearing that from someone dressed up as my mom." Billy gave a dramatic sigh. "Where are the actual adults? We figured we should get Kate's introduction over with right away before we go out to be awesome all together."

"Last I saw them, your parents were helping finish up the decorations inside," Kitty said. "A rather convincing devil and angel, as I recall. Charles was finishing up the punch with a few eager helpers, and Cap and Erik seemed to be reminiscing about war because apparently they missed the part where Halloween is supposed to be fun scary, not actually trauma-inducing."

"Well, considering they both lived through the period, I'd imagine it's their business if they want to discuss it as long as no kids get traumatized."

"I'm pretty sure that just makes it worse," Tommy argued. "I mean, academic discussion's one thing, but grandpa's tattoo always creeps me out."

"Aaand that's enough of that subject." Kitty clapped her hands. "As I said, this is about things being fun scary! So, nobody's allowed to talk about such dreary things."

"I agree, let's do the fun scary things," Darcy agreed. "Such as introducing Kate to her new parents-in-law."

"I think that's a rather strong term." Nevertheless, Kate was grinning, and somehow Eli got the feeling she might actually fit in with the mad crowd that was his boyfriend's extended family. "Let's go. Better get all the disapproval over with so I can focus on the party."

"What disapproval? They'll probably contact your dad and offer to trade you for me." Tommy returned her grin. "I'm the evil twin, remember?"

"Oh, I don't know. At least at the moment, Billy's the one with the goatee."

"Okay, that?" Billy pointed a finger at Kate. "That's it. You're in. I won't hear anything else."

"Not sure if Tommy warned you about this," Teddy said, sounding almost apologetic even as he grinned. "We're kind of the geeky part of the family."

"Oh, I heard about that." Kate's grin turned into a smirk. "I also heard that the clan's pretty bad about hauling people in, and I'd say that's quite true if you're calling yourself part of the family after less than a year of seeing Billy."

"Hence the in-law comment. You've already sold your soul," Darcy said with a rather cheerful tone for someone telling a stranger they were doomed. "Now, come on. Tommy obviously likes you, the geek couple have approved of you, and I'm pretty sure the rest of you have your back as well. You're never going to get a better chance for the introduction than with the Avengers backing you up, are you?"

"And in that costume, you'll definitely have Tony's vote as well." What? Eli was just stating a fact.

As it turned out, neither Tommy nor Tony was Kate's strongest supporter. On their way to finding the important adults, they came across Clint running an archery contest for kids. He watched Kate shooting the bullseye three consecutive times with a crappy children's bow and immediately offered her a place on the team and in his heart, vowing to take down anyone who would disapprove of her. This turned out to be entirely unnecessary, since everyone seemed rather satisfied with the hint of a smile on Tommy's face instead of a smirk, but Eli supposed it was nice to know she would have had a defender anyway.

Of course, things rather took a turn downhill when Tony heard Kate's name, took a long look at her, and started to demand her precise birth date and a confirmation of her mother's name, but all told, everything went quite well.

*

The sad thing was, Erik actually wasn't all that surprised to find Tony Stark storming right into Charles's office.

It wasn't an everyday occurrence, no, but somehow their little haven for mutants had started to admit more and more humans. Though then, Tony had always been an exception; he and Charles went back in ways Erik chose not to contemplate too deeply, which showed in his way of acting as though he owned the entire place. As evidenced by his angry strides into the room, interrupting their chess game without even knocking.

"Do you happen to know," Tony said, seething, "just what your grandkid has been up to?"

"First off, you do need to clarify for us," Erik pointed out, calmly making his next move. "We have more than one, as you might remember. And no, even if you did clarify, we probably wouldn't have any idea. We were rather enjoying the silence for the moment." Not that Charles didn't love to see the children enjoying themselves, but spending the entire evening around them could be exhausting, especially when that effect was compounded by all the visitors from outside the school. Therefore, Erik had found it best to nudge him into taking a little break for some tea and chess in his office, right up until the rather untimely interruption.

"Billy." Well, that was a surprise. Tommy tended to be the usual suspect. "He's been photographed."

"And? I wasn't aware that was a crime." Erik shrugged. "Also, to my knowledge he is not a vampire, so this should not offend your scientific sensibilities, either. So, do please elaborate, or else let us continue our game."

"Well, no. But it's getting posted all over now!" Tony fumbled for the phone in his pocket, his other hand holding a mostly empty punch cup. As he got the phone into his hand, he made a couple of angry motions before thrusting it at them. "Just -- just look!"

Erik did. The picture was rather sweet, he decided, and informed Tony of that with a wry tone. Billy's costume was really outstanding, as was that of his boyfriend. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, too.

"This is just ridiculous!" Tony shook the phone at them as though in admonishment. "It shouldn't be him bending me, it should obviously be the other way around! Sure, Cap is pretty strong, but I'll have you know the suit more than makes up for any of that. There's absolutely no way I would be the bendee!"

"I'm not actually sure that's a word, Tony." Charles seemed to pay Tony's ramblings roughly as much attention as they deserved, keeping his focus on the chess board.

"Well, it should be. And in any case, I'm the one with more experience here, why would I let him do as he pleases? I mean, seriously, I've been on the dating market longer than he's been alive, at least if we're not counting the freezer years. Well, okay, not quite, but certainly longer than he's spent years awake since puberty. Did they have puberty back then? Or did people just jump straight from kids to adults without anything between? I mean, I know rock and roll invented teenage years or something, so there wouldn't have been an age for them to go through puberty, right? Anyway, more experienced. Me. There can be no contest about that. So why am I the one getting bent back like some swooning maiden?"

"I wouldn't know," Erik grunted. "Because Billy likes them big and strong?" Charles raised an eyebrow at him, but there was no comment, so obviously his words were nothing but the purest truth even in Charles's opinion.

"Well, I for one will not stand for this." Tony slammed his cup down on the desk. It might have worked better if it hadn't been cardboard. As it was, Erik just found himself glad that there didn't seem to be much left inside for Tony to spill, which, okay, that wasn't surprising at all, going by his behavior. "Where's Cap? I need to right this utter misconception before it spreads any further into the woefully misinformed general population."

"Last I saw him, he said he was going to take a look at the library." Charles's lips twitched a bit. "How exactly do you suppose to correct this particular wrong?"

"How else? Get a picture of how it would actually go." He stormed out of the room, only to peek back a moment later. "You got anyone at hand who could take the picture? It'll ruin the effect if I'm holding the phone at arm length like some tween taking selfies."

Charles somehow managed to hold back his laughter. "I'm sure you can find someone to accommodate you. I believe Hank was planning to be in the library as well; while the children are rather affectionate, he does tire of being treated as an overgrown teddy bear."

"Okay, great, thanks." With that, Tony disappeared from view again.

Erik looked at Charles. "Does he actually think he can get Steve to agree to such a thing?"

"Oh, I don't know." Charles wore a somewhat mischievous look. "He might surprise you, actually. Our good Captain isn't always quite as straight-laced as he appears in the field."

Erik snorted. "Charles, my love, if Stark manages to get that photo taken without resorting to bribery or threats, I will get up tomorrow early enough to make pancakes for everyone."

"I'll keep that in mind." Charles's eyes twinkled in that special way of his that made Erik suddenly suspect he might have known more about the Stark-Rogers situation than he let on.

They didn't get to play much longer, though. Erik had just about gotten back into the game, pondering his next move, as he was alarmed by a stray thought so sharp, it reached his mind.

"Erik." Charles looked suddenly very pale. "There's something going on outside."

"Oh?" Erik frowned. "What is it?"

"I don't know exactly, but the people are quite frantic. There's — there's a child in danger." Charles's eyes widened. "Erik, go!"

He didn't need to be told twice. Erik shot up from his seat, rushing outside. 

The garden was full of people, as could only be expected, milling here and there without much apparent organization. However, he did see a certain concentration near one of the bigger trees toward the edge. Looking closer for the source of the excitement, his eyes caught on the tiny figure up in the branches, hanging off for dear life.

A child. A child had somehow climbed up into the tree and couldn't make it down.

How had the kid even gotten up there? The lowest branches on the tree were ten feet or so off the ground. Were they dealing with a little monkey here?

Even more interesting than the child, though, was the other figure, equally high in the air. Except this one wasn't perched on a branch, but rather hovering some ways from the tree. He couldn't make out much detail, just a dark figure with a fluttering red cape.

"Wanda?"

"Not me, Papa." Wanda appeared at his side, a worried frown on her face. That's right, she wasn't even wearing her costume today, the only one who should have been in a red cape was that human girl and she certainly couldn't fly. "I don't know who it is. None of the students who can fly are wearing a cape tonight, are they?"

"Well, I certainly want to find out." Erik started to weave his way through the crowd. It got rather dense at times, but he had never had much trouble clearing a way for himself. One of the few advantages of appearing somewhat intimidating, he supposed.

Then they got close enough to see who exactly was trying to convince the child to jump into his arms and he all but froze.

"Billy," Wanda breathed. "But — it can't be. He can't fly."

"Correction: he couldn't fly. Because this certainly appears to be evidence to the contrary." Erik shook himself, trying to shake off his shock. However unlikely it might have been, he tended to trust his eyes, and that was certainly his younger grandson up in the air.

The child hesitated another moment, then finally took a leap, right into Billy's arms.

By the time Erik and Wanda managed to make their way to the center of the crowd, Billy had made it down to the ground, still holding the little girl in his arms. He was wearing a black and grey costume, the red cape moving about his shoulders even though there couldn't have been any hint of a wind.

"Are you a superhero?" The girl asked, her eyes wide with wonder.

"Not quite. Maybe I will be when I grow up, though," Billy chuckled. "For now, I'm just a friendly witch."

"Oh." The child seemed to think for a moment before she beamed at him. "Well, you're my favorite Avenger anyway! More than Iron Man or Hawkeye or Hulk!"

"Why, that's pretty high praise." Billy smiled at her. "There's the little problem that I'm not an Avenger yet, though."

"That's fine. I can wait," she replied with a graceful nod. "And then I'm going to be your very first fan."

"You just want to say you liked me before I was popular." Billy looked like he was about to say something else, but was interrupted by a quick child kiss on the cheek. His face flushed a bit. "Ah. Let's find your parents now, shall we?"

Erik looked on as the girl's father emerged from the crowd, frantic to make sure she was all right, while Billy's friends surrounded him. "I do hope you weren't planning for your children to take up any other career than yours, Wanda," he said. "If he didn't have his heart set on it before, I don't think anything will change his mind now."

Wanda chuckled. "Oh, dear. Do you actually think I have thought they would become anything else ever since they escaped from the bath when they were two and ran naked around the house with towels for capes?"

"I suppose that would be an early indicator, yes." Erik smiled, waiting for some of the crowd to disperse before finally getting up to his grandson. "Billy. Since when have you been able to fly?"

"Uh. Since a couple of seconds before I realized I wasn't falling?" Billy ducked his head. "I, ah, I was just trying to teleport closer to the kid, except my magic decided the best way of getting closer was to be twenty feet in the air. I pretty much freaked out for a second before it sank in I wasn't going to fall and break all my bones."

"Ah. I suppose that would be a good way of learning in a hurry." Erik raised his eyebrows. "And the costume? I was under the impression you were wearing something quite different tonight, as are quite a few people on the internet, thanks to that little picture of yours."

Billy blushed again. "Actually, we were talking about what our costumes would look like if we were Avengers. And then when I tried to help the kid, I thought the armor might look a bit scary since it's all big and clunky, and I probably still had my costume plans in my mind since when I thought about changing clothes it came up."

"Hm." Erik nodded. "I like the cape."

"Oh, my dear." Wanda decided it was her turn now, rushing forward to hug her son. "I'm so proud of you, Billy! That was amazing."

"Thanks, Mom." Billy hugged her back. "I've got to admit, I was pretty terrified. First that I was going to fall and then that I was going to either drop her or make us both fall."

"Oh, that wouldn't have happened. You wouldn't have let it."

"Besides, Teddy here was all ready to come to your rescue," Tommy added. "Sure, it might have ruined the costume if he'd sprouted wings all of a sudden, but I think we can all agree that would have been worth it."

"Well, all's well that ends well, as one might say. Perhaps with this over, we will be able to avoid any further catastrophes today." Erik sent a few calming thoughts Charles's way. He would have picked up on the spreading relief anyway, things like that tended to project rather well from what he understood, but Erik still felt better for informing Charles personally.

"I'd tell you not to jinx it, but that's really more mom's area." Billy gave a weak laugh. "Uh. I think I need to sit down before my legs give way."

"Not to worry about that." Teddy stepped forward, sweeping Billy into his arms as though he weighed nothing. Billy squeaked, then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck with a faint flush on his cheeks.

"Ah, to be young again." Wanda smiled. "I remember when Vision first did that to me, I almost felt like I was going to faint."

"As I recall, at the time you were rather busy bleeding out from a wound dealt by some HYDRA operatives." Erik shook his head. "I suppose the tendency to head straight for trouble runs in the family in the most unfortunate ways."

"Wait, what?" Tommy's young lady — Kate, wasn't it? — frowned. "Avengers have only been around five years or so. I'm pretty sure I'd know that, I was in New York at the time of the attack, and you only joined a couple of years later."

"Avengers may not have been around for too long, but HYDRA is, unfortunately, a rather different matter." Wanda gave a faint smile. "And, as my father said, getting into trouble is a rather long-standing tradition of the family, especially when it involves clearing out the nazis that time forgot."

"But that, perhaps, is not a subject we should be approaching here," Erik added, rather mindful of a number of children watching them with keen interest, both students of the school and others who had come for the party. "I suggest we head inside, where Charles is bound to insist on everyone getting some calming tea, and I'll see about locating the last bit of the good candy that I know Raven has set aside somewhere."

"You'd risk Aunt Raven's wrath?" Tommy lifted his eyebrows in a manner that was really all too reminiscent of Pietro even without his current outfit. "And here I thought pretend ghosts and vampires were supposed to be the scary part of today."

"Well, it's not every day we get to celebrate someone's first heroic rescue, is it?" Erik motioned for them all to follow. "Let me worry about Raven. The more important part here is getting Billy settled down."

Erik had barely made it inside, the teens and Wanda trailing along after him, when he was stopped in the corridor by a rather frazzled-looking Hank. "Just so you know, I wouldn't advise you to go to the library right now."

"Oh?" Erik lifted his eyebrows, rather aware of the gathering cadre of young people right behind his back. "And is there any particular reason for that warning?"

"Tony rushed in and demanded me to take a picture of, and I quote, 'the true and actual way of Cap kissing.' Only, after he got Steve to agree after some protests, they, ah, they rather got into it. Entirely forgot I was there, as it is." Hank grimaced. "Actually, the warning probably isn't even needed, considering how far along the corridor the sounds seem to carry."

"Ah." Erik sighed. "My apologies. I should have stopped him when it was a mere idea."

"I'll live. Especially since Tony forgot to ask for his phone back, and I fully intend to keep it as compensation for my suffering. He probably has a few on his person as we speak."

"Doubtlessly so." Erik paused. "Ah. Was there any bribery involved? Or threats? In getting Rogers to agree to the picture, that is?" Behind him the young people were busy talking among themselves. There was no way this could end well for anyone.

"Not that I know of." Hank frowned a bit. "Honestly, I might almost think Steve's main reason for reluctance was that he wasn't sure he wanted to have the picture shared all around. It certainly didn't seem to be that he minded kissing Tony."

"Right." Charles had definitely known about this in advance, he was sure of it.

"Wait, what?" Billy's voice was a mixture of awe and disbelief. "Steve and Tony are kissing?"

"And without a doubt doing a number of other things that I will not go into detail about here, really, I still haven't recovered from that mortifying ordeal Charles had the gall to call sexual education." Hank shook his head. "Just. There is one picture, there will be no more than that, and for the love of God if any of the children ask about the noises I'll have the two of them prepare a presentation about a sexual health for all the students and forbid Stark from using any words cruder than wee-wee."

"Oh. My. God." Billy's voice was rather weak. "Tony Stark seduced Steve Rogers."

"Apparently so. And you are partially to blame for giving him the idea," Erik sighed. "Now, let's not stop here, all right? I think I'd rather like to sit down, myself."

And then perhaps call it an early night. He'd have to get up rather early to make all those pancakes, after all.

Stark could damn well be in charge of organizing the clean-up after the party.

*

Kate's prediction wasn't too far off the mark. The picture of the teenage Captain America and his Iron Man in the middle of a passionate kiss made its rounds through various social media sites to a rather respectable degree. However, it lost without much contest to the following photograph of the actual heroes kissing, a shot that soon made the front pages in several media outlets. The anonymous source of the picture was rumored to be rather charitable, donating all profits from the photograph to a certain special school somewhere near New York.

There was a third picture as well, attracting somewhat less attention in the general public yet popping up rather frequently in certain circles. It was a somewhat unclear shot, doubtless taken with a phone outside without proper lighting, yet one could clearly make out the dark-clad figure in a flowing red cape, carrying a child. There was some debate as to the identity of this figure, though some unidentified sources claimed to have been present as the person in question identified himself as a witch. The debate continued for a few days, until the general consensus seemed to be that this was not, in fact, any of the heroes already known to the public. In the somewhat limited circles where such matters were discussed with actual seriousness, he was informally dubbed Wiccan.

Some of these discussions were dug up a few years later as the Avengers roster expanded by three new members at once, as the second Hawkeye, their senior in the team by a mere year, made a reference to this incident. At no point was there any evidence to suggest a connection between this photo and that of the pretend kiss between Iron Man and Captain America.

It might have been worth noting, however, that the screen name _wiccans1stfan_ made references to Wiccan's relationship with his teammate Hulkling long before the two came out publicly, but surely that was mere coincidence.


End file.
